How To Wash A Tiger

Last week, Lacefreak Jane gave us an informative tutorial on washing Cormo fleece. This week, I follow her laundering lead by providing directions for washing tigers.

But before we get to this event, I shall recap our stay in Bangkok, because many of you wanted to know how I was faring. The short story is that I am doing fine, thanks to a battery of highly skilled medical professionals.

I pass quickly over the first week here, as I spent it in a (very nice) hospital room equipped with a brigade of nurses, minibar, plasma TV, and pull-out bed for Roy, all for the munificent cost of about $175 a day. The most exciting event of the week was the discovery that, when drugged into a pethidine stupor, I spoke perfectly fluent, idiomatic Japanese for about fifteen minutes. I have no recollection of doing this, but the doctors pulled Roy into the operating room to see if he could figure out what I was saying.

Unfortunately, Roy’s Japanese consists mostly of essential phrases such as “Please give me a beer,” so he wasn’t much help in that quarter. I suspect that I was probably saying something like “I am not a pincushion and if you do anything else to me with sharp objects, my friend Harry The Giant Spider will get truly annoyed and you will all be really sorry.”

I was finally sprung from hospital, whereupon we returned to the hotel and signed up for a tour of The Tiger Monastery—an amazing sanctuary for Really Big Striped Felines. The usual tour consists of a walk around the compound, followed by a distant viewing of tigers frolicking in a pool of water. However, somehow we were selected for an unusual hands-on tiger experience. The two of us must have looked so shell-shocked from the hospital stay that the tour guides figured the concept of tiger-washing would probably not faze us in the least.

The monastery is located in the north of Thailand—several hours by car. When we arrived, we had to sign a fair number of disclaimers, one of which was a release in case we were eaten during the tour. We were then led to a temple area where we suddenly found three-week old baby tigers in our laps. I am sorry, but there are simply no words to describe this experience. Instead, you will have to use your imagination from the pictures below.

After 45 incredible minutes tiger-cub handling, we were led over to a group of three-month old tigers, and we proceeded to walk our very own feline down to the swimming hole. Tigers of that age consist of 150 pounds of solid muscle. We started off on an equal footing...


...but in a few seconds, the tiger was actually walking me.


Between the two of us, though, we managed quite well.


When the group released the tigers into the water, the handlers instructed the ten of us to stand in a line on the shore. They then explained that should the tigers try to break through the line, we were to stand tall and steady as a tree, grab the tiger by the head and shoulders, and turn it around. This obscure factoid may come in handy for some of you one day.

The tigers certainly enjoyed their little dip.


Weirdly, the handlers all carried poles sporting Stop signs (in English). Who knew that tigers could read English?

At one point, a couple of the cats decided to charge the line. I did an Oscar-winning sapling imitation while Roy whipped the tiger around and pushed him back into the water. Roy still has both hands and I didn’t have a coronary.

The tigers walked us back to their enclosure, and at that point, we were given a lecture on How To Wash A Tiger.

Listen up, folks, because you never know when you might need this bit of information. Beginning at the tail, you hose down the animal with one hand while brushing dirt off the fur with the other hand. Clearly, it’s easier to wash Cormo fleece, mainly because it lacks teeth and claws. Also, it is difficult to spin tiger fur, especially if it’s still attached to the animal.

Here's a close-up of the tail-washing process.


Then proceed up the body and finish with a through face-washing.


We repeated the walking/swim experience with year-old tigers, which are rather larger than the three-month-old cats and have Really Big Teeth.

I indulged in a bit of meaningless conversation with our companion—you know—Nice Kitty! Great Teeth! Humans Taste Terrible!

And finally, we got to play with the cubs for a little while longer.


The experience was surreal and indescribable.

On the way back to Bangkok, we asked the driver to stop for lunch somewhere. As we sat there eating river prawns, we suddenly realized where we were. Folks of a certain age may recognize this tragic place. The photo below cannot convey the encompassing agony that surrounds this broken pile of wood.


We visited the tiny, poignant museum and read the terrible history of the River Kwai Bridge. Readers who want to learn the true story, which has little to do with the famous movie, can visit this web site.

Tomorrow we are off to Japan for a week to visit friends, have completely different Hello Kitty encounters, and do a little yarn crawling. This is supposed to be a knitting blog, after all!

Homeland Security Declares Condition Pink!

Traveling can be excessively tedious, but I certainly livened up the security line at Hartsfield Airport on our way to Bangkok.

The TSA agent was examining my knitting--half of a size 12 toe-up sock foot.

"What's this?" he asked.
"A willie warmer." I replied.

The agent dropped the item and then, with a mixture of awe, respect, and envy, handed Roy his tray of personal items while I stuffed the sock back into its little bag.

Harry spent 20 minutes removing gold and silver studs from his chelicerae* before the TSA would let him through the spider scanner. He has entirely too many piercings, in my opinion.

* Chelicerae are a pair of appendages that the spider uses to seize and kill its prey. The chelicerae are above the mouth opening and just below the spider's eyes. Each chelicera ends in a hard, hollow, pointed claw, and these claws are the spider's fangs.

And Yet Another Short Pause

We are off tomorrow for Bangkok, where the doctors are able to fix body parts in ways that American doctors cannot, thanks to your friends at the FDA.

For those who are about to panic in my behalf, don't. The entire treatment plan was approved by our doctors here; the surgeons' credentials are impeccable, and I can eat my fill of Thai food until I explode (not a bad way to go, really.)

I am bringing yarn and needles for two simple shawls (Bee Fields and Garden Party), which I may or may not feel like working on. Just having the supplies in my luggage, though, gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling. Now that I think of it, though, perhaps warm and fuzzy are two adjectives to avoid in steamy Bangkok.

After 12 days in Thailand (sorely lacking in yarn shops), we will spend some time in Japan, where yarn shops abound. Our trip will include a few hours at Avril (Habu's Mother Ship), as well as Okadaya, which has the largest selection of craft books I have ever seen.

If I see anything interesting, silly, or educational, you can be sure that I will post it here.

Harry is ecstatic, of course, as he can visit his 14,324 siblings and try out the new Japanese craze: Fizzy Eel Drink. I will probably share neither experience with him, but he will at least be out of my hair for a few days. The TSA listened to a bit of his singing and immediately banned his karaoke machine from the airplane. Finally, a sensible decision from Homeland Security!

A Small Pause...

Hello, my faithful fans! This post is being plinked on the keyboard by Harry, your incredibly talented knitter, karaoke virtuoso, and ever humble Giant Spider.

I am sorry to announce that fleegle is not feeling very well. I even returned her Holz & Stein ebony needles and lowered the volume on my karaoke machine, but even those magnificent sacrifices didn't perk her up.

She assures me that she will resume her mildly entertaining blog posts within a few weeks. It was a bit difficult to get precise information from the doctors, because they all ran screaming out of the examining room when I hopped onto the desk to ask a few questions. Bunch of twits, if you ask me.

In the meantime, she said to tell you to all to keep posting eye candy for her enjoyment.

An eight-legged salute to you all!

--Harry

Idle Hands...

...can make silly pets!


Join the fun! Download the free pattern here.

All That Ends Well...

Thursday. Two rows of Hyrna Herborgar left to finish.

4:45 am: Fix cup of coffee and sit down at kitchen table. Sip coffee. Sigh with utter contentment. Pick up Hyrna and knit two stitches.

4:46 am: Hear frantic squeaking and thumping in the dining room.

4:47 am: Separate cat from adorable little bunny rabbit. Bunny hops frantically around the living room caroming off windows, furniture, and fragile pottery. Cat hops frantically in my arms.

4:48 am: Yell for spouse, who tears down stairs in the altogether. Cat and I watch spouse chase bunny around the house with a colander and cookie sheet. (Note to self: Next time, grab camera instead of cat).

5:02 am: Spouse flops colander on top of bunny, slides cookie sheet underneath bunny, and removes squeaking animal from house.

5:04: am: Release cat, bandage arm, wipe bloodstains off cat, replace shredded nightgown. Remove bunny fur from furniture and spouse. Sweep up shattered pottery.

5:30 am: Resume position at kitchen table. Pick up Hyrna. Knit three stitches.

5:32 am: Oven timer beeps. And beeps. And beeps. Oven panel flashes an F1 error code.

5:40 am: Flip off oven circuit breaker and leave message on repairman's answering machine.

5:45 am: Resume position at kitchen table. Make fresh cup of coffee. Pick up Hyrna.

6:15 am: Finish row. Turn knitting. Knit 1 stitch.

6:16 am: Aliens land in back yard.

7:00 am: Finish printing out MapQuest directions to White House and give to aliens.

7:01 am: Pick up empty bottles of Romulan Ale tossed into the pachysandra by aliens.

7:30 am: Resume position at kitchen table. Check in on Ravelry.

9:00 am: Finish replying to numerous hysterical and/or angry postings about several tempests in a molehill. Or mountains in a teapot. Either mixed metaphor is an excellent description.

9:01 am: Pick up Hyrna and knit two stitches. Spouse wanders into kitchen and makes noise. Drop stitches.

10:00 am: Pick up stitches, perform successful stitch count, and knit three stitches.

10:01 am: House cleaner arrives and flips on the Vacuum Cleaner of Doom.

10:02 am: Pack up Hyrna and do actual, for-pay work.

2:35 pm: Spouse takes cat to vet for annual shots, House cleaner gives one final vrooom and exits.

2:36 pm: Resume position at kitchen table and pick up Hyrna. Finish row.

3:30 pm: Pick up crochet hook and begin binding off.

3:45 pm: Spouse returns with highly annoyed cat. Drop stitches.

4:00 pm: Fix dropped stitches. Delete hate mail from Ravelry mailbox.

4:20 pm: Flock of frolicking dragons land in front yard, torching hydrangeas.

4:22 pm: Chase dragons out of yard with fire extinguisher.

5:02 pm: Clean up dragon rubble. Replace smoke-damaged t-shirt. Notice alien ship teetering precariously in prize Japanese maple.

5:35 pm: Finish printing out directions to Kremlin because White House refused aliens entry (more than 3 ounces of shampoo in gift box). Give aliens several plastic trash bags and instructions for use.

6:45 pm: Finish Hyrna and pin out.

7:30 pm: Sit down to write blog post.

7:31 pm: Harry turns on karaoke machine and begins a horrific rendition of "I Like The Nightlife" (Alicia Bridges).

7:32 pm: Rip karaoke machine plug out of wall. Chase annoying spider with can of Raid. Spider tweaks pins out of Hyrna and tosses said pins into waterbed.

7:34 pm: Carefully tweeze pins out of waterbed. Patch holes.

9:00 pm. Re-pin Hyrna.

10:10 pm: Take photos.











Pattern: Hyrna Herborgar

by Sigridur Halldorsdottir from Thrihyrnur og langsjol / Three-cornered and long shawls

Needles: Size #4
Yarn: Hamanaka Parfait (55% mohair, 45% silk), 1 ball each white, black, light gray, dark gray

Frog, Froggier, Froggiest

The past week brought a new low in my knitting adventures. I cast on a variety of designs, frogged them, cast on a few more experiments, and frogged those as well. Finally, I cast down my knitting needles and went off in search of Something Different.

As you will see, Something Different turned out to be crochet. Many years ago, my mother gave me intensive instruction. However, my crochet exercises revolved around floofy stuff like doilies, pillowcase edgings, and a few mohair shawls that were foisted onto elderly friends who were always complaining of the cold.

While I was going through my piles of lace that were ultimately donated to the Lacis Museum, I ran across a ruffled doily (shudder) that I made when I was about 12 years old. I sneaked it into the donation pile and shipped it off to San Francisco (ha, ha Mary Francis! You're stuck with it now!).

I hadn't touched a crochet hook, other than to bind off a knitted edging, until this week.


This adorable pattern was perfect for a refresher--each one took about an hour to make. You can find the superb, detailed instructions here, should you decide to follow in my tottering footsteps.

The green yarn is Noro something-or-other, and the rest of the frog was made with pink and white Cascade 220. I have to say that three minutes into working with Noro, my hands started to itch with a ferocity usually reserved for a terminal case of poison ivy. I also wasn't thrilled with the knots that appeared every 10 yards. Yes. No kidding. No wonder the yarn was relegated to the Whatsis Bin.

As I brushed away the weird vegetable matter that continually shed from the yarn, I was reminded of a little episode that took place a few years ago in Yuzawaya (a Japanese craft store). I was poking at a small pile of Noro and I heard a voice behind me whisper "tatami," followed by a spate of giggles. After a few minutes, I deduced that the saleslady was trying to tell me that the yarn was made from old carpet remnants and discarded tatami mats!*

I admit that the colors are so lovely that they almost make up for the texture, which is why I have three skeins of the stuff in the Whatsis bin.

While I was indulging myself in utter silliness, Harry was beavering away on his Bling shawl. He flipped me the bird a picture of his progress as he pranced off to his hip-hop dance class. Much as I hate to say it, the border is coming along nicely.



*Tatami mats are a type of Japanese floor covering made from tightly woven rice straw.

Facelifts

I admit that I have been lax about blogging these past few weeks (to the relief of many people, I am sure), but I haven't been doing much to blog about. It's spring!, and I've been futzing in my garden, which has been sorely neglected for the ten springs and summers I've been in Japan.

Outside of pruning and planting, I've made a few pairs of plain socks and sorted through my stash--lace yarn in this basket, sock yarn in that basket, and the "What chemical was I imbibing when I purchased this stuff?" yarn in a large plastic bag over there.

Some of the WCWIIWIPTS yarn was actually very nice, but the colors were either insipid or frightful.

..rustle...clank....out came the cauldron and Potions kit....

Here is a Before photo of Schaefer Andrea in the Louisa May Alcott colorway. I. Hate. Brown.



A flick of Chinese Fireball Red dragon scales...


I didn't much care for the green in the Andrea Helen Hayes colorway either.



A bit of Gillyweed and some Merpeople hair later...


Consultation with my Advanced Potions textbook allowed me to transform Fleece Artist's pale blue and yellow Cornflower colorway into something a bit more interesting:



And Fleece Artist's lackluster Saffron colorway was transformed into a spicier flavor:



I used potions with hues similar to the colors in the underlying yarn so I wouldn't end up with muddy colors. The process works surprisingly well, although I am still adding red to a particularly stubborn skein of ghastly beige Malabrigo laceweight in an effort to make it attractive. (It was billed as Peach, but the color I received bore no resemblance to either the on-line picture or the namesake).

One word of advice if you decide to try this at home. Do NOT add Eye of Newt to your potion mixture. Otherwise, you'll end up transforming your skein from a plain, but mainstream yarn:


Into something like this:*


A little vitreous humor (snicker).




*Actually, this incredible skein of handspun was created by the fabulously talented Jacey Boggs. You can find this yarn, as well as other amazing creations, at her web site: Insubordiknit.

Grumbles

I haven't done much productive knitting this week, but I have frogged what seems like an endless wad of samples. Every morning, I grabbed my coffee and some neatly caked sock yarn (thank you, Roy!) and spent several hours trying to find an appropriate yarn for a few favored patterns that have been in the Experimental Pile (some of them for years).

After seven days of this, I had a large pile of yarn squiggles and a headache.

What I really wanted was a soft, squooshy sock yarn with long runs of variegation. Well, guess what--there doesn't seem to be such a thing, at least on this planet.

Every pattern looked spectacular in the yarns I don't care to knit with--Trekking XXL, Julia's Vinca, and Noro's Brillo Kureyon Sock Yarn.

Every pattern got lost in the yarns I love to handle--Lisa Souza, Claudia, Cherry Tree Hill, and Soxie.

The basic problem seems to be that the yarns with glorious color variations are not very soft, and the touchable yarns were either too splotchy or zingless.

This conundrum also plagues lace yarn. The long-color-runs are found in yarns that are a bit harsh--JoJoLand's Melody, Yarn Place's Graceful, and Yarn Treehouse's Merino Print. And the touchable yarns--Yarn Place's Gentle,Touch, and Angel, for example, only come in plain colors.

While I am whining, I might as well utter a high-pitched plaintive cry about Angel's color selection. Take that, Yarn Place!

Don't get me wrong--plain colors are lovely and most appropriate for complex lace. But after you've seen LaceFreak's Legends of the Shetland Seas, you'll probably agree that those long color runs can transform a merely pleasant pattern into a spectacular finished piece.

In Other News
I did actually accomplish something this week. Hanabi is half-finished (I will post a picture next time.) And the Vinca yarn from Julia's Craft has turned into an interesting pair of socks. Total cost for the yarn was about $6--2 balls (@ $2.99, 255 yards) are needed for a pair. It's a slightly fuzzy marled yarn and a wee bit splitty.

As you can see, I made no attempt to match the coloration, being a dedicated lazy knitter. Roy says the yarn is quite light and soft on his feet. Knitting with Vinca isn't an overwhelming experience, but the color shifts are inspired, and make me want to keep knitting so I can see what will happen next.

More Bling!

Harry tossed his finished Bling shawl center at me this morning as he sashayed out of the house for his morning sauna/massage. He instructed me to photograph it (with feeling) and post the pictures and text (with alacrity). Since he is holding my ebony needles hostage, I must obey.

Here's a boring face-on shot of the center:

And a pseudo-arty shot so he can't accuse me of slighting his work...


Apparently, after crawling around the center for an hour or two, Harry is having second thoughts about the Really Wide Border. (Of course he is--he just can't leave well enough alone).

He says he might adapt the border of the Black Window Spider King for his Bling shawl. It's a more interesting knit and is slightly smaller, too. He pointed out that he might run out of yarn if he stuck with the original design and thus, I would have to go around begging for another cone of Colourmart's Japanese Maple cash/silk.

After thinking about it, I have to admit that Harry has a point. We already have the trapezoidal shape worked out and adapting the spectacular border to a triangle shape would provide an opportunity to fool around with the pattern yet again (fun!).

And finally, Harry says he absolutely refuses to endure the boredom of a knitted-on border, so he is in the throes of adapting an Estonian/ Icelandic/German border to suit the contemplated changes.


Does this litany of changes sound familiar? The gods of Shetland Knitting are poking out their eyes with tridents, lightning bolts, and swizzle sticks.

Mysterious Mutating Yarn!

I've knitted enough socks from variegated yarn that I can usually predict what the finished article will look like. But the socks I finished a few days ago proved that (1) appearances can be deceiving and (2) I don't know everything. I should have asked my neighbor, Nancy, about the yarn before I touched it with a needle. She knows everything!

Here's a candid photo of the leftovers--a pretty rainbow variegation.


And here's what happens when this lovely skein was knitted into socks (Warning! Sunglasses Alert!):






The heels and toes look charming. The rest of the sock bears an unearthly resemblance to this appalling cover of Knitter's magazine.

It's an interesting transformation, isn't it?

Note added later: These are my very own fleegle socks. You can find the basic pattern here.

And before you ask, the yarn in Yummy, from Miss Babs, in the Rainbow colorway. It's lovely yarn and I am sure Miss Babs would never have thought her gorgeous colorway would ever mutate into electric pink and fluorescent lime stripes.

Roy likes the socks, though--they match his recently purchased tuxedo--so all has ended well.

The current pair of socks is being knitted with Julia's amazingly priced yarn. So far, I have no complaints. It's soft, has very long color runs, and is a thoroughly pleasant knit. It's about the most cost-effective sock yarn you'll ever find.

Copyright Confusion

If you are a member of Ravelry, you are probably nauseatingly aware of the numerous threads beating pattern copyright issues into small, but terrifying, legal molecules. I dipped into several of these bizarrely acrimonious exchanges and agree that, if you want a designer's pattern, you should buy it from the creator or publisher.

It's clearly a Bad Thing to post extant patterns on a photo- or file-sharing site so the general public can have them for free. It's also a Bad Thing to copy a design and slap your own name on it.

I do not agree that copyright violations fall into the same category as, say, homicide, arson, and lobbing bombs into elementary schools.

For those who have not had the experience of perusing the copyright discussions, I have, for your reading pleasure, distilled their essence into the following fleegleized Copyright Statement. Please make a note of it.

******
If you purchase this pattern, you may knit a single garment, but said garment may not be sold, loaned, donated, photographed, scanned, or sent to the dry cleaners.

You may not exhibit or wear said garment without a prominently displayed copyright attribution on the front, back, sleeves, and buttons (if applicable). If the knitted item does not have garment parts, the copyright attribution will need to be displayed on the front, back, sides, and interior of same.

You may not discard, give away, or lose either the pattern, or the garment/item, and when you proceed to the Great Knitting Emporium In The Sky, the pattern and garment/item must be incinerated in a sealed container. You may, however, choose to be incinerated with said pattern and/or garment/item, provided that you do not have an electronic greeting embedded in your urn, gravestone, or mausoleum.

If you find this pattern/garment/item in an airplane seat pocket, you may not glance at it. You must report the find to the pilot, who must immediately land the plane and incinerate said pattern on the runway before proceeding to the final destination. You will be further obliged to obliviate the flight attendants, passengers, and other crew members who might have glanced at said pattern while you were slipping it under the cockpit door.

And finally, should your house be distributed via tornado, hurricane, or explosive device, you are responsible for locating both the pattern and garment/item before it can be discovered, read, or worn by a third party.

******
If you think the above disclaimer is silly and that copyright law is unambiguous, ponder the following:

If you purchase a locked Adobe Acrobat or Microsoft Lit e-book, you'll discover that the Reading Aloud feature is disabled. According to the publishers I queried, if the Reading Aloud feature were enabled for the sight-impaired, then a sighted person might overhear the audio, which is clearly a copyright violation. On the other hand, it is not a copyright violation for two sighted people to simultaneously read the e-book.

If you buy the audio version of the book, it's perfectly fine to play it on your stereo, where an entire family or group of friends can listen in. Furthermore, if you purchase a paper copy of the same book, it's perfectly ok to read it aloud.

You may read the e-book on a limited number of machines (in the case of an encrypted PDF, that means only the machine on which you downloaded the file), but the paper copy may be given away, donated, or loaned out until it falls apart.

If these scenarios leave you confused, then you might want to ponder the concept of public libraries, which allow you to read or listen to copyrighted material without actually paying for it.

For the record, here's how I stand regarding copyright of my own material, designs, concepts, and electronic/audio renditions of same, whether they appear on this blog, are inscribed on a marble stele, or delicately painted on the back of a hamster.

You may do anything you wish with any material of mine that you find on this blog--use it for classes; print out enough copies to paper the Great Wall of China; distribute it electronically; and sell, exhibit, or give away as many finished pieces as you like--all without asking my permission. The only thing I ask is that you credit me, where applicable. If you don't credit me, I won't go after you, but I will think of you ever after as a Really Rude Person.

I don't make any money from this blog or the designs and concepts contained therein. I am not going to waste my income or time pursuing Really Rude People. I would rather be knitting.

Speaking of knitting, I have nothing to show you this week. I am in the middle of three shawls and they don't look much different than they did the last time I posted pictures, except there's more of them on the needles than on the balls/cones.

I won't post the picture of Roy's half-finished socks, because they bear an uncanny resemblance to the current cover of Knitter's magazine, complete with lime green and hot pink stripes. The yarn doesn't look like that at all (it's a pretty, pastel rainbow blend), so I figure I must have left the socks on top of the cover and somehow, the virulent cover photo perfused the sock. Be careful where you leave your knitting.

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

The Good
The Trenna transfusion arrived today and it's virtually a perfect match. With a bit of medical magic, we got Hanabi off the heart-lung machine and she is convalescing comfortably, thanks to the precision science of Dr. Schaefer. We expect a quick, complete recovery and she is being returned to the daily knitting agenda.

On the down side of the Good News, we submitted Hanabi's hospital bill to Blue Cross/Blue Shield and they rejected the claim for $376,298.14. Although Hanabi is on our policy as a dependent, BC/BS won't cover experimental patterns. Fortunately for our financial picture, the hospital took the heart-lung machine in trade for their impeccable services.

Having freed up a bit of space in the garage, we were moving some boxes of blue ketchup around and discovered a miniature nuclear reactor behind the stack of fifth grade arithmetic tests. Roy tinkered with the connections and eventually got the reactor hooked up to the new ball winder. He is now freed up for his secondary job--machining a set of perfect lace needles.


For those concerned about Lester, rest assured that he is taking a well-deserved break in Cancun and is expected to return in a few weeks to take over the ball-winding chores.


We were delighted to discover that Lester has a degree in nuclear engineering. He is only the second hamster to have passed the intensive course and we are quite proud of him.


The Bad
I will not present a visual of this disaster, because it's too horrific for publication. While carefully tinking back my International shawl, I uncarefully managed to drop 4 stitches. By the time I noticed the error, the stitches had plunged over 20 rows, thereby completely unknitting the middle of a complex flower. The shawl is hidden from view in an unused drawer. If I ever find the energy, I will frog it back, but don't hold your collective breaths.

The Ugly
I won't present a picture of this either, but if you haven't seen the cover of the Spring, 2008 Knitter's magazine, you are not in for a treat. My eyes watered at the fluorescent pink and green colors, and my fingers started itching at the hairy yarn. I won't even comment on the design, except to say that the yarn and the pattern were made for each other. Roy was more charitable--he remarked that at least someone made an effort to match the model's lipstick to the yarn. The on-line version doesn't begin to reproduce the glare, but I provided a link so you can prepare yourself for the real-life photograph.

A Knitting Miscellany

A camel ride wasn't my only anniversary gift. I also received this magnificent hand-turned yarn bowl out of which balls (or pink flamingos) cannot leap...


...and a magnificent hand-turning ball winder from Nancy's KnitKnacks. I cannot overstate how fabulously quick and neat this unit turns skeins into shapely yarn cakes.



One of the disadvantages of skeins is that you can't actually do much with them besides admiring and squishing. So I filled a large bag from my stash and turn it over to Roy, who has been graciously exercising his winding arm. It was a rare treat to sit down for an entire afternoon and make little test swatches.

One of the swatches was so entrancing that it has since morphed into a new project I have named the Water Lily shawl. I think the pattern works beautifully with the soft variegation of Cheryl Schaefer's Andrea in the Minnie Pearl colorway.


In the meantime, I finished the center of the International shawl and worked my way up through most of the first border, an Estonian design (a modified #113 from Pitsilised Koekirjad). I was feeling like an especially hot-needle babe, until LaceFreak pointed out that my corners were not where they were supposed to be. I won't show you a picture of the poor shawl, which is currently underwater in the Frog Pond.

And finally, Harry handed me these pictures of his Bling shawl as he pranced out the door for his Swing Dancing class. Bling, Swing, AnnoyING.

Romance in the Air!

Most married couples, on the occasion of their wedding anniversary, dress up in romantic fancy clothes and go out for a romantic dinner. Or they travel to a romantic location for a romantic weekend.

I, however, was whisked away for an utterly romantic...

























...camel ride!

As you can see, a lovely time was had by all, although I now have a profound understanding of why some folks in the Middle East often seem a bit crotchety. Getting up and down on a camel is akin to enduring an earthquake, but not quite as smooth.

Happy Anniversary, Dahling! And thanks for 23 years of romance! And adventure!

A Trenna Tragedy

There I was, motoring along peacefully, enjoying the pleasant pattern and lovely colors, when suddenly, the gas gauge light flickered on. I tapped the gauge (can't hurt), but after about ten minutes of silly, superstitious behavior, I finally conceded that I was going to run out of yarn before I finished my Hanabi normality shawl.

I zoomed onto the Information Highway and carefully inspected Little Knits' Trenna offerings, but there was no burgundy mixture to be had. I emailed Sue, who regretfully informed me that burgundy was completely sold out.

Looking down at Hanabi, I started to panic and headed straight for...


The medical team sprang into action immediately, administering emergency life support.


They stabilized Hanabi and put her on oxygen.


But, they informed me, she wasn't going to make it unless she received a yarn transfusion fairly soon.

Fortunately, Sue had a solution: Send a sample to Dr. Schaefer, who would try synthesizing a compatible color in her research lab.

In the meantime, Hanabi remains in a coma, kept alive, thanks to the heart-lung machine we found in the garage.


And Dr. Roy rigged up an emergency generator in case of power failure. We are all hoping Dr Schaefer is successful and can create matching donor yarn before Lester here, gets tired.

The Bling Shawl

Hello to all of my faithful, adoring fans! Harry is back!

floogle has been ignoring me for the past few months, probably because I've been sulking and giving her a richly deserved silent treatment. There are abundant reasons for my aloof snit, believe me. For example, flargle absolutely refused to allow my extended family to take up residence in the guest bathroom. She further objected to the immense, artistic web my devoted friends and I carefully wove around the barbecue. And she demanded that I return half the Niebling patterns. freegle clearly lacks Family Values, a Sense of Humor, and she certainly doesn't have a clue about Sharing.

In return for the shabby treatment here at Chez freeble, I commandeered her boring, traditional version of The Spring Shawl and reinterpreted it to make it more tasteful, elegant, and appealing. I am calling it The Bling Shawl.


As you can see from the sample below, my version is quite an improvement over the original.


While the motifs are actually identical to Sharon Miller's, I abandoned the yawnworthy names like "bead and diamond" for more exciting designations, such as "Hello Kitty." I have finished the first chart, which mostly consisted of a ground of Boiled Sticky Rice, and am currently working my way up the Chortling Fish.

The center triangle still has some Sticky Rice clinging to the edges, but as I progress upwards, you'll get to view my magnificent Daruma Dolls, Maneki Neko (Beckoning Cats), Mice Seated On Upside-Down Samurai Hats, and finally, a row of Hello Kitties.

I do appreciate flarble's loan of her precious Holz & Stein ebony needles. They are truly worthy of my knitting. She doesn't deserve them.

And now, my devoted readers, It's time for my pedicure (a time-consuming process, alas), so I will have to bid you Sayonara. Until I can get florgle off the laptop and out of my leg fur again, I remain

Your Truly Giant Knitting Spider,

Harry

The Flighty Waffle

It's dangerous for me to rootle in my stash closet. I was cleaning out some Stash of Shame the other day, and a cone of Colourmart 3/45 Japanese Maple (courtesy of LaceFreak) fell on my head. I'll get to the waffle in a minute.

I picked it up, admired it, and before you could say Waffle, I had cast on another sample for the Spring shawl.


I love the lavender, but the red shows the pattern so much better.

I'm waffling.

A Bit of Lace

For the past few weeks, I've been working on a shawl for the Little Knits Trenna contest. The challenge was to create a shawl that would flaunt Trenna's exuberant colorways, but be both visually interesting and simple enough for beginners.

A little bit of it is shown here.



The pattern is a feather-and-fan variation, the original of which creates horizontal patterning. Because I am knitting this as a normality shawl, the stripes become vertical and the lower edge scallops naturally.

After I had knit a fair amount, I decided it looked nice, but rather blah--it needed something for visual impact.I don't really care for beading, so I plan to weave a ribbon rose garland into the yarnovers, either at the top, lower edge, or in the central spine. The beads and the fuzzy ball of mohair are destined for the knitted rose closure.

After a week of feathering and fanning, though, my psyche demanded something a bit more challenging. I flipped through my pattern books and decided to try my hand at Heirloom Knitting's Spring shawl. Ten samples later, I opted for Colourmart's cashmere-silk in Dark Lavender. Oooo, it;s such nice stuff! I originally bought it to do Princess, but LaceFreak is knitting hers in this color, so I put the yarn aside for something else.

I haven't gotten very far, but a little peek doesn't hurt.


The little Japanese bag is perfect as a cone holder, too.

And to give everyone a giggle after this bland, dry post, I include a link to one of the funniest newscasts I've ever watched. I sure hope it's a spoof!