The Doctors Are In!

I am a confirmed lifeline addict (read about them here if you don't know about lifelines). Without lifelines for my fine lace knitting, I am forever dropping stitches, leading to hours of tinking, cursing, screaming, and other behavior unbecoming to a supposed Knitting Expert. Fortunately, all my interchangeable needles come equipped with a perforation, because these types of needles are tightened by sticking a little pin thingy into the hole and twisting with the little rubber whatsis.* Alas, none of my fixed circulars are so equipped.

I had taken a wad of them to our gunsmith so he could remedy this depressing state of affairs, but he has became quite ill and can no longer fulfill my peculiar requests.

My regular readers know what's coming, right? House of Fleegle decided to indulge in some do-it-yourself Knitting Needle Surgery. All we needed was a mini drill press and plenty of micro drill bits, both available cheaply on good old eBay.

Let's take a brief tour of the procedure!

First, let me introduce the surgeon:


And his multi-talented First Assistant:


Before we started the process, the First Assistant set up the operating room:


And there's the Second Assistant, Cheeto, holding an entirely unnecessary micro-saw. We'll need that for another procedure though, so it's nice to see him practicing his surgical room instrument clutching.

On to the process.

We first anesthetized the patients by dunking them in our priceless bottle of North Korean Famous Brandy.


Nice label! The cap is cheerfully designed too:


Ah, Lori, you are correct. Possession of this bottle is most probably entirely illegal, but honestly, we bought it at the DMZ years ago and perhaps the Statute of Limitations has run out on it. It's great anesthetic--the patients remained unconscious through the entire procedure and woke up without drug hangovers. By the way, the brandy is clear, not, ah, brandy-colored. We never actually tasted it.

And here is the surgeon performing the delicate operation:


The patients recuperated rapidly and appreciated Cheeto's little winter bouquet.


Delicate stomachs might want to close this browser window now. A close-up of the perforation is shown here on Patient Size 1:

All in all, the operations were successful, but we broke a lot of drill bits on the metal needles. Our next procedure will feature transplant surgery, so be sure to come back if you aren't squeamish!

*Kyoko-san, "whatsis" is a synonym for "thingy." Or "thingie." I cannot construct a legal plural for "whatsis," although "whatsises" or "whatses" might work.