Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Terrible Tuesday

It has not been the best of days. The early morning hours were spent writing begging, whining eloquent, pursuasive letters to an assortment of accounting departments that owe me back pay.

Having completed this distasteful task, I moved on to the Project of the Day, namely a test knit so hideous that Laptop scuttles out of the room (hissing) whenever I remove the thing from its lightproof bag. To add insult to injury, the supplied yarn's texture rivals that of steel wool, but is not quite as soft.

I unpacked the magenta, yellow, orange, turquoise, and black yarns, donned my sunglasses and Kevlar gloves, and knit two rows (actually I knit one row and purled one row) of the convoluted, confusing directions painstakingly deciphered from the blurry scan of tightly packed, faint type.

Whoops. I am instructed to attach C, then knit some rows with D and F. Except why did I attach C? Removes sunglasses and gloves, emails the designer. Replaces project into lightproof bag and stuffs into closet.

Moving on to the Alternate Project of the Day, I unpacked the printer I was asked to review for a World Famous Techie Magazine. Too bad paper and ink cartridges were not supplied. Poked at the buttons for a few minutes and discovered that the printer has the unfortunate feature of Speech. Does anyone want a talking printer? After listening for a few minutes (Hi! My name is Phil and I'll be your printer today!), I resisted the urge to shoot the little elecronic creep in the USB port and began the Alternate Alternate Project of the Day.

Fortunately, this project actually went quite smoothly after the initial cast-ons, which featured long tails that were too short. I see from the pattern that I need 200 yards of yarn. I have 198 yards. What are the odds of having enough yarn for the last row?

Find out next time, because I am afraid to fire up the camera. It can talk to the printer.

19 comments:

mawelucky said...

Some days are like that...sorry you're having one of those.

I hate speaking gizmos too. I was looking for a toy for my nephew and most of the toys available would not only drive the parents insane within a few seconds, they talked.in.English.

rmsknits said...

If the talking printer doesn't have an off switch for the voice that is a BIG negative! The first thing I do when setting up a computer is turn off all of the unnecessary sounds in the profile. And I keep it on mute so that I don't hear anything unless I want to, I hate clicking into a web page only to have my ears assaulted!

The older I get the more I understand why my mother always said "Silence is Golden" :)

Cheryl S. said...

Gaaah.
But as Scarlett said, "Tomorrow is another day". Hopefully it will be a better one.

Kitty Kitty said...

Hope tomorrow is a better day. This one does not sound fun at all.

I kind of like talking gizmos, but it needs to be in an adorable Japanese anime voice and make me say aww when I hear them. Somehow American's haven't figured out the cute level in talking gizmos nor have they figured out how to hire real voice actresses to voice over anime.

My IM sounds are set to the densha de go! sounds from the video game.

yarnlot said...

Being funny when dealing with annoying situations is a gift and a proof of character. In my case I often get grumpy, not the most efficient behaviour...
Hopefully a wonderful Wednesday tomorrow :-)

Anna M said...

If it wasn't for the talking printer I'd switch days since I did my yearly trip to the laundromat (blankets that don't fit at home) and grocery shopping. But the talking printer is a definite creepy factor for me, ewwww.....

LittleBerry said...

you win some, you loose some, but you definitely lost big style on Tuesday!!!

I shudder at the thought of printers talking it's bad enough with several pc's in the house shouting 'Virus software updated' at strange times of the day or night!!!

yarnlot said...

Yesterday I saw on television that in Japan they have invented a television working on hand movements... Could lead to hilarious situations or big fights. And I have a Japanese camera with a smile function: it takes the picture when the smile is at its best! Only telling this to people produces beautiful smiles, it is better than "cheese"...

Leslie said...

The saving grace to all this is you know it will end. Things can only go up for you - and since today is Wednesday, I sincerely hope you're having a better day.

gayle said...

At least Project of the Day could be used for pot-scrubbing. As long as you remember the sunglasses.
I've heard eye-searing colors are excellent for removing burnt-on grease...

Karen said...

If you have a disaster of a day then the next day is bound to be better. Right? Sigh!

deserttyrtle(2trees) said...

Murphy's Law of Knitting:
If the pattern calls for 200 yds and you only have 198, you will definitely needs those last two yards to finish the project.

Romi said...

Dude. Now I can't wait to see that project! It sounds, um, interesting. :)

Jane said...

Your day really did suck hard! So sorry. I hope the rest of this week is better. As for the talking printer, perhaps you should use the "Hal" cure on it. I know I'd be tempted!

Batty said...

What a sucky day. I hope things get better... am having that kind of weekend myself (including fun medical scare on Friday), so I sympathize.

KPiep said...

I don't know how I missed this post....but I did want you to know that I feel your pain. I'm test knitting a horrendous pile of ugly myself right now. Even worse, I introduced the designer to a friend of mine, and she's suffering in ugly too! I have to mail the darn thing on Tuesday, so at least there's an end in sight...AND we've vowed to NEVER say yes to this designer again!

Fulay said...

I refuse to buy $68 ink cartridges for my $28 Epson. That is what I paid for it at Target on a super sale and I now I know why. What is up with that? If you ever visit us in Seattle to teach a lace class (hint hint), you will see my big paper weight gracing the front desk.

Here is hoping that you got your $$$. My favorite is trying to get $$$ from health insurance companies. They are the best ever!

heidi said...

although you really must have had a realy terrible day, you really demonstrated having a great sense of humour when describing it:)

as bad as your day was, your post about it made me smile:))

Laritza said...

Thanks for the laugh, I really needed it today. It was a bad day here too. Tuesday the 13th went by with no problem but today!
Say Hi to Phil....was his name? LOL!