Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Bling Shawl

Hello to all of my faithful, adoring fans! Harry is back!

floogle has been ignoring me for the past few months, probably because I've been sulking and giving her a richly deserved silent treatment. There are abundant reasons for my aloof snit, believe me. For example, flargle absolutely refused to allow my extended family to take up residence in the guest bathroom. She further objected to the immense, artistic web my devoted friends and I carefully wove around the barbecue. And she demanded that I return half the Niebling patterns. freegle clearly lacks Family Values, a Sense of Humor, and she certainly doesn't have a clue about Sharing.

In return for the shabby treatment here at Chez freeble, I commandeered her boring, traditional version of The Spring Shawl and reinterpreted it to make it more tasteful, elegant, and appealing. I am calling it The Bling Shawl.


As you can see from the sample below, my version is quite an improvement over the original.


While the motifs are actually identical to Sharon Miller's, I abandoned the yawnworthy names like "bead and diamond" for more exciting designations, such as "Hello Kitty." I have finished the first chart, which mostly consisted of a ground of Boiled Sticky Rice, and am currently working my way up the Chortling Fish.

The center triangle still has some Sticky Rice clinging to the edges, but as I progress upwards, you'll get to view my magnificent Daruma Dolls, Maneki Neko (Beckoning Cats), Mice Seated On Upside-Down Samurai Hats, and finally, a row of Hello Kitties.

I do appreciate flarble's loan of her precious Holz & Stein ebony needles. They are truly worthy of my knitting. She doesn't deserve them.

And now, my devoted readers, It's time for my pedicure (a time-consuming process, alas), so I will have to bid you Sayonara. Until I can get florgle off the laptop and out of my leg fur again, I remain

Your Truly Giant Knitting Spider,

Harry

30 comments:

fleegle said...

You little creep! Give me back my needles before I pull them out of your Bling Shawl. And you could at least spell my name correctly, seeing as how you have been freeloading for MONTHS. I am sick and tired of you eating all my Cherry Garcia ice cream, using the expensive bubble bath we reserve for our guests, and if I see you smarmy little face around the artichoke hearts again, it's going to be RAID time. You hear me?

Anonymous said...

fleegle's Husband

Harry, the tension and angst between you and fleegle has got to stop.

She is spending more time whining about you rather than knitting me stuff. (she should be able to complain about you and knit at the same time).

I do not appreciate my BLT sandwiches wrapped in spider silk. Stringing our bed from the ceiling was uncalled for.

You two need to kiss and make up.

fleegle said...

I would rather kiss Voldemort. Who's side are you on, anyway?

Jane said...

There is, of course, a very good explanation for the escalating tension surrounding two such creative beings. Could there possibly be just a tad bit of ENVY being felt by our Harry over the brilliance of the "Normality" projects? Could this be the reason for the sudden outbreak of "Dueling Needles" going on over there? (cue the banjo sequence from "Deliverance") I'm just saying.... As for poor fleegles spouse, I say duck and run dude. It's only going to get worse!

z's momma said...

too too funny...

smittenknitten said...

Harry,

Our Harry (Mexican red kneed tarantula, no relation) agrees that Mice Seated On Upside-Down Samurai Hats is an interesting design feature and only wishes that he could weave elaborate webs around our barbecue.

Fleegle,

I agree that having my Cherry Garcia and expensive bubble bath go missing would inspire me to drastic measures as well ;).

Laritza said...

You are 2 funny!

2trees said...

Yay Harry!
Clearly you and "florble" need interspecies counseling to work this relationship out.

Anonymous said...

Harry,

Clearly, flurfle doesn't appreciate you. She's just miffed that, after years of stealing your designs and FO's and claiming them for her own, we now know the truth of it. And, truly, Roy has the wrong of it, too. Seems like any man would appreciate a bed made thusly. Fun times! I must insist, though, that you lay off the foodstuffs. FYI, fleabert has been doing research into not-so-organic pesticides, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.

There is only so much we here at the office can do to help you. I urge you to pick your battles wisely. Let me take this time to once again tell you how much we appreciate all that you do for us re: "the situation". You are, indeed, the perfect agent. She doesn't suspect a thing.

Your handler.

Miss T said...

Hee.

Carol said...

You stop eating all the Cherry Garcia. That is simply inexcusable behaviour! You may find yourself stuck with plain vanilla ice cream and then wehre would you be?

Kitty Kitty said...

I can not stop laughing...

Though seriously you had me at Hello Kitty... there couldn't be a better blog post than one that includes her.

lori said...

Dear fleegle,
Look! I fixed the google. Only I could break the google, yes? I am so sorry Harry is giving you so much trouble. From the comments, you might want to check Harry's ID. Admittedly, his shawl is rather exciting, and I look forward to the Hello Kitties. Still, he should be ashamed of himself. Also? I hear wal-mart is having a sale on insecticides. Just sayin'.
Your LOYAL LOYAL fan,
L.

B. said...

Hah! Welcome back, Harry. I agree that Sharon Miller misnamed all the motifs. Obviously she meant for them to be Mice Seated On Upside-Down Samurai Hats and Daruma Dolls and Beckoning Cats and Hello Kitties.

Anonymous said...

You go Harry, You can come live at my house anytime.

You knit better than fleegle anyway.

Carla Willingham said...

OMG!!! I'll never be able to look at lace patterns the same way again!! LOL!!! Carla

nurhanne said...

LOL

Debi said...

That Harry's a real laff riot, isn't he? :)

LittleBerry said...

always guaranteed to make me LOL and smile when I need it most... thank you :)

Opal said...

Now I need to run off and figure out the Hello Kitty stitch. That's a must have for any lace knitter's stitch dictionary!

Judith said...

Harry! welcome back, I've missed you. but you must learn to live in harmony with flurgle (and Mr. Flurgle) since they are your generous hosts (and you have a mighty impressive stash to borrow from.

Batty said...

I love the Bling shawl! I have no taste, so anything called Bling is an instant hit.

hooknneedle said...

*waves little banner*

we love you, harry!

StashDiva said...

Dear Harry I love your Bling Shawl it makes for such a interesting knitting. I would also like to inform you that I run a shelter here near the North Pole for battered 8 legged creatures should the situation require you to vacate you home.
PS. Fleegle if you are reading this I have 5000 yards of JP but tho I hope you don't run out of yarn some groveling would be fun:-)

KnitYoga said...

ROFL!!!

Arachnera said...

Kiss Voldemort? 8-O Well, yes, I suppose that could be more comfortable than Harry...

And he really ought to spell your name right and not eat your cherry garcia ice cream and not use all your bubble bath...

But, his post made me laugh.

Sorry.

madonnaearth said...

It's great to see Harry again, fleeg, whether you appreciate his spelling capabilities or not. lol

Courtney said...

Very cute.... Harry... Give Gleegle back her needles Mr.

Laurel said...

Why am I always the last to know? Too, too funneh!

Laurel said...

Why am I always the last to know? Too, too funneh!