Thursday, January 10, 2008

Knitting With Political Principles

The Paton's shawl is finished! I need to block it, so the pictures will have to wait for next time. It was a pleasant knit for the most part, although I didn't enjoy the frequent pattern bloopers sprinkled throughout the design. Shakun's silk/cashmere yarn, though, was so exquisite that I would have been equally happy knitting a feed sack. Just touching it made up for the, erm, pattern mis-speaks.

I didn't care for the original edging, so I mostly used the one from Marianne Kinzel's Rose of England teacloth, which you can find in her Second Book of Modern Lace Knitting.

The fit wasn't exact; to make it work, I used the George W. Bush Principle of Government--If the World View doesn't fit the actual facts, Just Make Stuff Up. This method was more successful for me than for George, probably because the fudging I applied did not involve information from the CIA, vice-presidents, or assorted bad guys wanting a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Should anyone ask me exactly how I managed melding the new border to the old shawl, I am afraid I will have to fall back on the Bill Clinton/Ronald Reagan Principle of Government: I Don't Recall. This particular principle didn't originate with those two, of course. I suspect that it was originally coined by Eve when questioned about her fruit-eating habits. But it's a fabulous principle to knit by, especially as we get older.

As I was inching my way across the interminable crocheted bind-off, I starting musing about other immortal political sayings that could be worked into knitting. And of course, I thought I would share them with you, in lieu of eye candy.

Just Say No.
--Nancy Reagan

A principle I apply to dishcloths, argyle socks, seaming, and hideous, droopy knitted bags.

My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
--Ronald Reagan

Yes, he actually said this on August 11, 1984, during a sound check. He didn't realize the mike was live. Whoops. I would love to have been a fly on the Kremlin wall when that sound bite came wafting over the airwaves. I doubt Gorbachev noticed the grammatical error contained within this, um, bombshell. In any case, I use this principle frequently by substituting the project name in question for "Russia" and "frogging" for bombing.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
-- Dan Quayle, thankfully former U.S. Vice President

This quote comes to mind often when working through complex lace patterns replete with convoluted directions and numerous errors.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
--Herbert Hoover

Useful principle to remember when knitting circularly. Also handy when trying to assemble a sweater.

I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.
- George H. Bush

I invoke this principle when lusting after a sweater that absolutely must be knitted in pieces and then seamed together.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.
--Andrew Jackson

Applies to UFOs, languishing WIPs, bulging pattern files, and an over-abundant stash.

Join the fun! Melding politics and knitting makes politics more useful and knitting more relevant, so feel free to contribute additional principles! We could all use a good laugh.

26 comments:

natural state knitter said...

Can't wait to see the shawl blocked. I did not care for the edging, either. I will apply some of your political/knitting principles and invent my own!

Katie K said...

Very funny, especially the Jackson quote.

Kitty Kitty said...

OMG.... I can not stop laughing. Your post are always the best to brighten ones days. Thanks so much...

Terri D. said...

Thanks, Fleegle. I nominate you for Special Knitting Correspondent on The Daily Show (once the WGA strike is over).

Carol said...

amazing how some of those quotes apply,eh?

fluffbuff said...

Thank you for brightening up my day. AND now I feel less guilty about my UFOs. :)

Reluctant Penguin said...

One wonderful quote after another... if only I could remember them when I need them! Thank you.

Laritza said...

You are just too funny!
I bet the shawl is beautiful.

Opal said...

What a hoot. I love the Reagan quote!

Peggy said...

Fleegle for President!

lori said...

A HA! All these months we've been monitoring you...finally!! I have e-mailed this post to my superiors at the Panty-gone. You will be hearing from us shortly. Get your tinfoil ready.

fleegle said...

Dear Lori--
Ha! My tinfoil is ALWAYS ready!

Deepa said...

I needed that laugh. You're brilliant!

Suna said...

GREAT choices of quotes. Finally, something useful to do with the huge collection of W quotes I have from an old calendar...

Ingrid said...

Excellent writing - not only the Yarn Harlot successfully mixes politics with knitting.

Fleegle, if you are ever over Hong Kong way, drop me a line?

fleegle said...

Dear Ingrid--

I would love to drop you a line, but you have no blog or email address. Lack of contact information makes communication a bit difficult! We might get to Hong Kong next year...so in the meantime, drop me an email!

Anonymous said...

Andrew Jackson has stolen my quote!

Sue F
Little Knits

EGunn said...

Those are great quotes (and even better in reference to knitting)! Not sure I have any off the top of my head, but I'll have to think about those as I go in endless rounds around this silly circular sweater...

LittleBerry said...

we want photos, we want photos.... time to get my own back :o) I will allow you a few days grace as those quote smade me smile especially the Hoover one about making ends meet and the nancy bush one.... I'm going to email my friend the Hoover one as it applies to his boss and his work load.....

Leigh said...

Ha ha, very clever! I found your blog via a link. Glad I dropped by.

LittleBerry said...

I have knit 3 LL so far now and each colourway has come up slightly different, one in definite stripes (purple iris), one mingled (purple club) and now this one which I call a semi-stripe....

Batty said...

Who knew politics had real-life uses? I'll vote for you any day, you crack me up! Plus, you'd probably agree that taking yarn money out of knitters' paychecks pre-tax is a great idea.

MelissaM said...

You are just too hysterically funny!! Love how you applied all those to knitting. Great piece.

BadCatDesigns said...

That was a great read! Thanks, and block that shawl so we can see it really soon, eh?

Anonymous said...

I'll have to come by again/every so often to remind myself of these "principles of knitting" - thanks alot for the post :) Terry

madmacaw said...

Margaret Thatcher said "the lady's not for turning"

Knitting use: learning to knit backwards for entrelac.