Monday, September 17, 2007

The Mysteriously Mutating Moth

I've never knit anything that had multiple personalities before. Moth seems to morph into odd objects while my back is turned. For example, the other day we had a guest who wanted to see my knitting. I fished Moth out of the bar sink (where current projects reside.) "Oh," she said. "I though that was a head of lettuce."

Before the vegetable episode, Roy and I were poking at Moth and decided that it bore a remarkable resemblance to a coral reef. Of course, I couldn't stop with just an offhand remark, so here, for your reading pleasure, is a new fairy tale:

The Lonely Reef
Once upon a time there was a coral reef named Daphne. Although she was nicely formed and quite gregarious, no sea creature called Daphne home. She sat sadly on the sand, watching flocks, schools, and pods swim by, nobody even stopping to bubble a quick hello.


One day Daphne was sitting quietly in a pool of sunlight, when suddenly, a huge dark shape cast an ominous shadow over the sea bottom, and an thunderous thrumming noise kicked up a bit of current. Daphne rolled a bit to her left--a good thing--because just then, a hail of pointy little sticks came floating down from the overhanging shadow.

A few of the pointy objects stuck in her seaweed tresses, though, and no amount of rolling around would dislodge them.

"Ridiculous," said Daphne to herself. "I look like a half-bald sea urchin."


A minute later, the shadow and the thrum disappeared into the distant sea. The return of the sunlight also brought a pair of octopi into view.

"Hey, Edgar," the red octopus said, "Look at this silly coral reef! She looks like a half-bald sea urchin."

Edgar poked at Daphne, snickering a bit. "Hello Gorgeous," he said. "Wanna play ball?"



The next thing Daphne knew, she was the main event in a game of reefball.


Already feeling sorry for herself, what with being ignored for millennia and more recently, being skewered by boat trash, Daphne started to cry.

"Hey," Edgar said gently, "We were just having a bit of fun. Ernie, better put her down before we traumatize all those little polyps."

Ernie carefully laid Daphne back on the sand. "What's the matter, darling?"

Daphne wiped her eyes with a piece of kelp. "Nobody loves me," she sobbed. "Nobody wants to live with me. Everybody swims by and ignores me. I tried putting out little signs and offering free sea biscuits and the services of a Decorator crab. I hired a publicist. I took out ads in Newsreef magazine. And not a single taker.

"Hmm., " mused Ernie. "I think I know what the problem is, dear. I think you are just wound too tight. And I have the perfect solution."

Ernie and Edgar removed the pointy objects from Daphne's midsection.

"That tickles, " giggled Daphne. She started rolling around the sand in an effort to escape the two octopi. As she did so, Ernie and Edgar notices little trails of thready polyps unwinding from the central reef core.

And of course, both octopi immediately thought of Fleegle, their knitting instructor, who had just demonstrated the proper technique for reef knitting a few days before.

Edgar signaled to Ernie to keep up the tickling...


...as he picked up the polyp thread and began casting on.

Edgar kept tickling Daphne, Ernie segued into Coral stitch, and pretty soon, Daphne had transformed from an uptight globule into a relaxed, expansive, inviting carpet of coral.


"Wow," Daphne exclaimed. "I have never felt so relaxed! Thanks, guys!"

Ernie and Edgar shook tentacles (a particularly complex operation) and were about to mosey off for a large shore dinner when they spied a school of squirt fish, each one trailing a large clamcase. (Erm, the clamcases are the same color as Daphne, which is why you can't see them in the picture.)



Ernie signaled them over. "Looking for cheap real estate, guys?" He gestured towards Daphne, who was now sprawled over a good section of the visible sandy floor.

"Yeah," the frillfin goby replied. "We used to swim over there (he finned over his shoulder), but a school of triggerfish moved in and we all started looking like targets." The polka-dot batfish looked particularly depressed during this exchange.

His buddies had drifted over to Daphne and were engaged playing hide and seek among her bumps.


"Hey look," one of them exclaimed. "Sunken Treasure!"


The rest of the group goggled the Neiblings, dropped their clamcases and began unpacking.

Daphne giggled.

The next day a couple of trumpetfish moved in, bringing a herd of cowfish to graze upon Daphne's lush bubbleweed. Trumpetfish being rather prone to, um, loudly trumpeting about this and that, quickly spread the word about the luxurious accomodations (Neiblings included! Plenty of algae!).

It wasn't long before Daphne became the most popular reef spot in that section of the ocean.


And she, Edgar, Ernie, and the rest of the gang lived happily ever after.

The End

30 comments:

Courtney said...

Bravo...Bravo...What a good story :-) Love the shawl :-)

Judith said...

OMG - wonderful and hilarious! such perfect pics to go with the story (who knew you collected all things fish-y?)

Kenny said...

Oh my God!!! You are hilarious!!!! And that comment that you left on my blog..... you're not that old are you? I'll finish the sweater and you ain't dying on me!!!!!

Kitty Kitty said...

ROFL!!! What an awesome story!!! I can not stop laughing!!

GretchenX said...

Would you PLEASE stop tormenting me with that ball of yarn????? I want one just like it, but I have so much yarn at home that my cat is mad at me - Brutus says that I love string more than him, now!!!

(I ADORE Lisa Souza's Mother of Pearl colorway)

2trees said...

So, when is your book, All Creatures, Knit and Purl, coming out?

Muki Muki said...

What a wonderful story. Shawl is great too. How do you come up with such ideas. I am truly impressed. Someone said you are a SCUBA Diver, and, was a Captain in the Baltimore Police Department. Is this true?

fleegle said...

I guess you could say I am Oldish. But at the rate you are going with that sweater, I will be Maxi-Oldish before you get to the armholes.

fleegle said...

Dear Gretchen--

You too can buy a skein or two of ArtYarns mohair/silk and have your very own Daphne. Explain to the cat it isn't yarn, it's a proto-coral reef. He will forgive you.

fleegle said...

Dear 2Trees--
It's a perfect name for the book I will probably never write. The problem is these stories just come to me. There's no way I could sit down and actually write one on deadline. I will, however, treasure the name and put it on my virtual bookshelf, right next to Nightmare Knits!

fleegle said...

Dear Muki Muki-
Yes, I hold a Divemaster SCUBA card. And yes, I was anointed as a captain in the Baltimore PD the day my husband was promoted to lieutenant. The commissioner made me a captain so Roy would always have to take orders from me. It didn't work.

z's momma said...

What a great story. You make me laugh.

Oh, and I am coveting your Annas.

Octopus Knits said...

Oh, my! What a fabulous story (and lovely shawl)! I very much enjoyed it (not quite ROTFL, because, you know, I had to stay upright to keep reading and looking at the fantabulous illustrations)...

Opal said...

Oh I love it! Excellent story. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :-)

~laurie said...

awwww how sweet is that story!

Kristen said...

This was going to be a comment about how some people have too much time on their hands, but that was just way too entertaining (also, there's a certain "glass houses" factor in play).

Well done! I love the picture of the knitting octopus, with his eye right there. Total concentration.

Laritza said...

That is too funny! I have the pattern for moth and the yarn. It will go OTN next! plastic bubble wrap :D

anne said...

hahahah! tht is SO cute!

Tara said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Soo said...

Genius!!

Dave said...

Someone is having way too much fun. I think they're avoiding edgings or something. :-)

LittleBerry said...

fantastic you never fail to make me smile :)))))))))))))

Rachel said...

Ha ha, great story! Do I recognize the Bee Fields Shawl under all that sea life? It's traveled a long way, that shawl!

fleegle said...

Dear Rachel--

No, that's the Wings of the Moth shawl. I am blocking it today, so you can see the real thing sometime later this week.

nurhanne said...

Your blog was the last stop before bed - thanks for a great good night story :-)

CrazyFiberLady said...

What a great story!!! Love it :)

errs said...

What a wonderful story! I love what the finished "reef". :D

Carol said...

Too.Freaking. Funny. Really. You could make it into a children's book for kids of knitters. That way moms and kids both get entertainment...

Romi said...

Heeheeheehe. Very very cute. Thanks for the great story! :)

hege said...

I love Daphne in both her incarnations. She is absolutely gorgeous! I can see we had the same thought, the lace looks frothy and billowy, like seafoam :) Great story, too!